I'm alive!

Well, barely...

In my last post I mentioned that I was in the hospital. That was an adventure... Well, I was diagnosed with optic neuritis and they needed to give me an IV of steroids for three days to help with the inflammation of my optic nerve. So I got out and was taking steroid pills until yesterday. Apparently, steroids increase you chances of picking up infections b/c it decreases the body's ability to fight them off. So I now have acute tracheal bronchitis. I have almost no voice and can't stop coughing for the life of me. But I'm on the Z-pack and some other stuff, so hopefully, I'll be better soon... But in the meantime, I am bored out of my mind since I am not allowed to go to work... I made an Oreo cheesecake (yum) this week and making cookies today... Pictures and recipes will be up soon.

Thank you all for the prayers and wishes for good health! As soon as I know more on what is causing the optic neuritis, I'll let you know!!!

I'm in the hospital

This really sucks.

My head

So, as a follow up to the last blog... I went back to the ophthalmologist today. She did some more tests, dilated my eyes... The optic nerve is inflamed. Based on that and a few other symptoms, she felt that it would be best for me to consult w/ a neuro-ophthalmologist.
When I asked her what she thought, she said that she felt that it would be best to rule out some of the biggies.

Before I move on to the biggies. Let's focus on the small stuff. The least worrisome thing this could be is an idiopathy. Meaning a set of symptoms that don't lead to anything and aren't related or caused by anything, it is just a sudden onset of symptoms that will go away over a couple months of time. Which, in all honesty, if it is that, I'll be the happiest camper ever. Granted, I'll be dealing w/ blurred vision in my left eye and horrible pain for a couple of months, but compared to what else it could be....

So here we go onto the rest. First, it could be fluid build-up causing pressure on my brain, which in turn is causing inflammation to the optic nerve.
If it isn't that, it could be a mass behind my eye on the frontal lobe of my brain. By mass, she meant tumor. Cancerous or not, she couldn't say. But if the MRI shows a mass, the next step would be to biopsy it. Hello, oncology!
The one thing I never in a million years would have thought this could be was the very next thing she said. Multiple sclerosis.
She seemed to latch on to that one more than the rest. And that is the one that scares me more than the rest. There is NO KNOWN CURE for MS. So yeah, I'm scared now.

She really didn't give me any more hope for anything else. It seems like this could be nothing or it can be SOMETHING BIG. No in between there. No infections, no simple diagnosis followed by simple treatment and live happily ever after.

And who knows, maybe there are other things it could be. Maybe there are some things hiding that the neuro-ophthalmologist will find that will change everyone's course of thinking. I don't know. I'm trying to be positive, really, I am. However, I can't help but prepare myself for the worse.
And I don't want to hear it'll be nothing from everyone. I don't know I could handle everyone in the world telling me it's nothing so much so that I believe it and it ends up being something. I need your prayers and support, that's all. And if you don't believe in God, then cross your fingers for me ok? Whatever this is, it will be fixed. I'm not ready to leave this world. I've got too much baking left to do..

This is really becoming a pain in my EYE!!!

So I have spent the last few days, not baking like I wanted to be, but in immense pain. I don't know what is wrong. My ophthalmologist doesn't know what is wrong. I am putting eye drops in my eye that is causing blurred vision, burning and even more pain.

Let me tell you a little bit about what has been going on....

Last Tuesday, Dec 30th, I started to notice an uncomfortable headache forming behind my eye. I didn't take anything, of course, and it lingered on... Annoying, but not particularly painful. I'm used to headaches since I get migraines fairly often.

So Sunday night/Monday morning, I started to notice that the pain was a little more intense. And now it was when I turned my eye. If I looked any which way other than straight forward (even w/ my eyes closed), a searing flash of stabbing pain would occur. Still right behind my eye, more like underneath the lid where the eye meets the bone. My eye itself was fine. I saw clearly. My contact wasn't dry, I couldn't even feel it in there, like normal. It was all right behind the eye and lid.
So Monday it was bad. I kept getting shooting pains, probably a 6 on 10 scale. I went to the soup kitchen that night, I could still see clearly; it was painful, but not affecting my overall mood. I was popping Excedrin at this point and drinking Dr. Pepper for that boost of caffeine that usually helps too. Nothing.

Tuesday, I'm at work. My head is pounding. I can't even move my eye a slight bit b/c there is shooting, stabbing pain. I am MISERABLE. I call the eye doctor and make an appointment for right after work. I still work, albeit I am one cranky biotch at this point.

So I go to the doctor. We popped out my contacts and walked my legally blind butt to the exam room. Where the doctor (whose name I don't remember) did lots of tests. Which all required me to move my eye. And while my right eye is leaving tear streaks down my cheek, it occurs to me that my left one isn't doing a damn thing except be in pain. Bastard. So then she puts drops in my eyes that make them yellow so she can see stuff. I don't just mean pale yellow. Like bright neon yellow. Freaky... So after all these tests she concludes that I do not have glaucoma, cataracts, nerve damage, fluid pressure buildup, infections, swelling, etc etc etc etc etc.....
So what next? She hands me a prescription for Tobradex which is an eyedrop that contains a steroid to prevent swelling (which I didn't have) and an antibiotic (um, I thought no infection???). The she tells me to come back Saturday so she can see if it works.

That stuff stings to all holy hell. I mean ALL HOLY HELL people! And it's supposed to make me feel better? Ha!
So, I have spent the last two days even more miserable than ever. Except last night when I slept from 5-10:15, then from 10:30 to 5am. Apparently, a couple months of tossing and turning eventually catches up with you... But I decided that I was going to "House" it and toss back pills like they were candy. Don't worry, vicodin scares the living daylights out of me... I have gone thru about a half bottle of ibuprofen in the last 48 hours though. It has helped dull the pain slightly...

But this is going somewhere... I called the doc office this morning b/c the pain was unbearable for a while and I started to experience blurred vision in my left eye. I called at aprx 11am. I left the girl w/ my cell number and her promise that when the doc (my normal eye doc, not the one I saw Tues) comes in, she would have him look at my file, and let him know that the pain is getting worse and now I was experiencing blurred vision and asked him to call me re: should I still be using these drops and see if I could come in tonight instead of wait until Sat?

So just now, I get a call from my doc office. First, they call my home. Not a big deal since I'm here. But second, they call me 8 hours later. I am miserable, ready to hunker down in bed and watch my only chance of pleasure, a new Grey's Anatomy, and shut off the world. Do they even acknowledge my earlier call? No, they are calling to remind me about Sat appt. AM I LIKELY TO HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT APPOINTMENT? No.
So I point out to the girl (different one from this morning) that I was supposed to receive a call hours ago and was displeased that no one apparently cared enough to let me know that the doc was busy, or maybe the doc himself forgot to call. Regardless, I am their patient, in complete agony and they simply put me aside like I am no matter to them whatsoever??

So I needed to vent. If anyone has an idea of what is going on w/ my head and eye, please let me know. I will take any sort of direction since no one else will give me any. Also, please pray for my sanity. I think I'm losing it...

On to Oreo's and Grey's Anatomy. I heart McSteamy. He'd make the pain go away, I'm sure of it.

I plan on using the 2nd bag of Oreo's I have to make Oreo cheesecake this weekend. I am hoping to make a carbon copy of Cheesecake Factory's Oreo cheesecake since it is my most favorite dessert ever. We'll see how it turns out!

Happy New Year!!!

Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year!!!! I hope that 2009 brings lots of love, joy and happiness!!!