Thursday, September 10, 2009

Black Bean Brownies and my search for less gluten-ous foods

So I jumped on the black bean brownie bandwagon. And I am jumping off now.

I am not hear to say anyone is crazy for liking this brownie. I'm not trying to say that it is gross b/c of someone's specific recipe. I'm just saying I HATED it.

I agree that there is no black bean taste. With the amount of unsweetened chocolate in it, along w/ the sweet honey, there was no way you would be able to taste the bean. But you can sure feel it.

I didn't change a single thing from this recipe except I subbed honey for the agave nectar, but she said that was okay. And I used cocoa powder instead of the coffee powder, which I always do and nothing bad ever happens.

But I didn't like the bitter, overwhelming chocolate taste mixed w/ the overly sweetness from the honey (which, again, you can't taste, but it definitely changes it...). I think that if I had used flour and regular sugar, instead of beans and honey, respectively, this might have worked. Well, probably not because that bitter chocolate taste left me w/ a very unpleasant aftertaste in my mouth...

When I made the batter and poured it into the parchment paper lined and oil sprayed brownie pan, I knew something wasn't right. It was smooth when I poured- yes, poured it in. It was the consistency of a melted milkshake. It was dark like poo and the smell of unsweetened chocolate wafted up to my nostrils, nearly giving me a nose bleed.
I was somewhat reminded of the scene in Drop Dead Fred where Fred and Lizzie made mud pies... remember that scene?

Fred: I'm not afraid of the megabeast!
Young Elizabeth: I'm not either, when she comes in here we'll make her eat up all this mud!
Fred: Yeah... and then we'll cut her head off...
Young Elizabeth: with scissors...
Fred: Yeah... and then we'll make her eat it
Young Elizabeth: ...make her eat her own head... with what?
Fred: Oh yeah, well I'll eat her head then.
Young Elizabeth: And I'll eat the rest of her!
Fred: Yeah! And then we'll get up and poo her all over the table cause we're not afraid of anything
Fred, Young Elizabeth: yeah, yeah YEAH!

God, I love that movie.

Anyways, getting back to the brownies. I seriously didn't think they'd bake. I thought I would pull it out of the oven and it would be just really super hot soup.
But they did bake. And they took like 3 hours to cool down enough to cut. And when I cut them into little squares, they were still so gooey, that most of the batter stuck to the knife, but not in crumbly yummy pieces, in thick gooey wet muddy mess.
So I threw them back in on the parchment paper on a cookie sheet, completely cut into squares, hoping that would make them less of a gooey mess.

Nope. They weren't as gooey but they were still gross. The texture was kind of like a fruit jello w/ cream mixed in before it was put in the fridge to set and it is almost set, but not quite? Yeah, like that only a wee bit less gelatin-y. A piece did Jell-o giggle in my hand. And when I took it off my hand, half the brownie was still stuck to it...

Gross. But I took them to work. I mean, someone liked these things, why not let it my co-workers try tham and they can decide? Oh and btw, I left them out, cut in squares and separated and uncovered, hoping they would dry up a little.

Negative. But they didn't stick anymore. Instead they were a bit... oily? Not sure what the best word would be, but they kinda slid off the parchment paper...

So I layered the brownies in the tuperware container and put wax paper b/w the layers. I brought three layers of brownies.

How many layers does it look like are left in the picture? If you said two (plus two from the top third layer) you are right!!! You win the prize!!! Okay, so there is no prize, except for maybe me telling you that this is a bad idea. Bad bad bad.

But, I also made some raspberry cookies the same night and those turned out fantastic! Check out my next post for that recipe!

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